Tag Archives: Christianity

It Was Up To Me

Several years back, I wrote a poem inspired by Joyce Meyer‘s testimony. I remember thinking about the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her own biological father and how it went on for 14 years. I thought about how difficult it had to have been to forgive him…what an insurmountable impossibility in a person’s life; and yet, she chose to forgive, believing God would give her the strength to move past her feelings and thoughts and hurts and scars.

In a previous post, I mentioned how God led me to greener pastures than I could have ever found on my own. I believe that when people surrender and choose to forgive, it lends itself to the enjoyment of a fulfilling life. On the other hand, unforgiveness paves the way for bitterness and hatred and an existence that becomes dependent on tearing others down with criticism and judgement; blind to the fact that they are the ones who are harsh and judgemental and hateful.

Wagging fingers can become so pointed toward others and “what they did to me…” that they are completely unaware of the three fingers aimed straight back toward their own hate filled hearts. Then, it’s only a matter of time before they themselves become someone else’s perpetrator; and the cycle continues…

Forgiveness is the only remedy that ends the cycle and perpetuates healing.

Here is my poem…

It Was Up To Me

There’s a strength required to just let go,

That will allow the real me to show.

I can live happy and free.

All along,…it was up to me.

Feels so good to look you in the eye

And really mean “I love you” when we wave goodbye;

To feel strong and empowered by extending mercy

Instead of the resentment and pain in the midst of controversy.

I don’t know who I was trying to kid,

When I pointed my finger at all that you did.

I have faults and failings and sins of my own,

But I can’t go back. What’s done is done.

For so long I sat as your judge and jury

As I feasted on my rage and fury,

But as I sit here, I am stunned…

As I discover that I too, am the guilty one!

I’m reminded of a long time ago

When you asked for forgiveness…but I just wouldn’t let it go.

I was blinded and weak and refused to see

That the choice was mine because…it was up to me.

 Traci Haney – 8/17/07

Praying that today, you don’t let the temptation of holding unforgiveness keep you from the greener pastures God has waiting for you.

Comment below and tell me how unforgiveness has affected your life, or how you’ve found the “strength required to just let go.”

Traci

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Until the Work is Finished

Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

I think it’s safe to say that in my life, I have always had difficulty finishing what I start. Even now as I sit here, there is a load of clothes in desperate need of folding, not to mention the bathroom cabinet that I tore apart…not literally. But, in an attempt to purge all that isn’t needed, I’m now left with the aftermath of deciding how to organize the surviving items of said purge! I think the problem may be in the details…or should I say the discipline of the details…

Right now, I’m working on a book… and you guessed it! I’m having some difficulty carrying out some required work for this project. You see, there has been a bit of a decline of my initial surge of emotions that caused my leap of faith into this feat to begin with. Anyone who has written a book with the intent of pitching it to a publisher knows about the…book proposal. Having always had a knack for writing, I was always successful t turning out a great paper WITHOUT having to do the dreaded outline. But not THIS time; this proposal is like a giant outline to me. (this is a little more involved than just writing a paper!) It’s the monster under the bed that wants to eat me if I dare get too close! So, the only thing that makes sense.. is to RUN!!! Run for your life!!….now back to reality; and the reality is this.

It’s too late to turn back now. I have too much invested, so, I will keep plodding along until it’s done. (with some much need prodding from my writing coach I might add) But in all of this, here is what I’m reminded of.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.   Philippians 1:6

God knows that lasting change isn’t something we can carry out in our own strength. And guess what? He doesn’t find the “discipline of the details” to be such the daunting task that I do 🙂 So here are a couple of things to remember:

  1. It is His work, as I surrender fully to Him, to make me more and more like Jesus…and all the detail work that requires!
  2. He has too much invested in me to run away! Romans 5:8 says that “God shows and clearly proves His love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He died for us! I call that a major investment! He is in this thing with us until the very end. His word says that He will never leave us or forsake us.

So even during the times when I feel like I’ve failed and I’ve missed the mark and I want to give up, I can take comfort in knowing that He is finishing what He started in me and HE never gives up!


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